Behavior Matters Book Club - In Case You Get Hit By A Bus
Welcome to the Behavior Matters Book Club!
Here you can find the summaries and recordings for our meetings.
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Unfortunately, we experienced technical difficulties with the recording, so it won’t be available for this first session. However, the presentation with all the info we covered can be found here: https://www.mirusplanning.com/s/Book-Club-Presentation-Jan-5.pdf
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Key points from the discussion:
□ Protocols/Etiquette: Arrive on time (we start at 10 am sharp), come prepared with your book and/or notes. Use Zoom “raise hand” feature for participation.
□ Discussion Questions/Feedback: We will be asking, “What came up for you as you read these chapters?” If you have feedback/suggestions for improving the format, please let us know!
□ Meeting Summaries/Recordings: The week following each meeting, we will be emailing the recording and written summary.
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Poll Results: “Why did you decide to join our book club? What are you hoping to get out of it?”
□ “I would like to be better prepared to manage my life in case I am alone.”
□ “Hope to be better prepared for end of life with my family.”
□ “Have seen the issues when preplanning has not been done. Not pretty.”
□ “Make sure that if my wife survives me, it won’t be a nightmare for her to navigate this.”
□ “Looking to learn something new!”
□ “Curiosity and recent experience on loss of main email access due to suspected hack”
□ “To help our children cope after we are gone.”
□ “I loved the title. look forward to worksheets.”
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Link to the recording: https://youtu.be/guQWnVgTvIY
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Key points from the discussion:
Planning Is Important (pages VII-XII): Getting your life organized for those you love in case you’re no longer around is just as important as filing your taxes every year, despite the fact there’s no deadline or requirement to do so (page XI).
Access Granted: Passwords & Codes (pages 1-13): Using “auto-fill” in your browser as a password manager is not as robust as other options and comes with concerns for if loved ones need to access (page 10).
Plan Of Attack (page 13): Ensure you are sharing the details of where this information is kept – not limited to just your spouse (what if something happens to you both?)
USING A PASSWORD MANAGER
□ TIME: One to two hours to import and organize all your existing passwords (manually and automatically if you use an assortment of browser or phone password storage programs). Then let the program do all the work from here on out.
□ COST: Free for some, upward of $30-$120 a year for others.
CREATING A DIGITAL OR HANDWRITTEN DOCUMENT
□ TIME: Three to four hours to organize all your existing passwords so others can understand them—and a solemn pledge to keep it regularly updated for the rest of your life.
All Your Money: Everywhere It Lives (pages 14-29): Using aggregation software to get all your financial information in one spot (such as the eMoney client portal) is a good place to start in regards to documenting these important details (pages 24 & 25). By popular request, we will be recording and sending out a video outlining key eMoney features, stay tuned!
Plan Of Attack (page 28): List your assets, liabilities, insurance, and benefits. Where are they? What are they worth? Do they have a personal contact (financial advisor, CPA, attorney) that can lead family members in the right direction? (page 17)
□ TIME: Two hours to identify and list all your sources of money and valuable assets; less than one hour to connect your accounts to a financial aggregation app or software.
□ COST: The majority of the apps suggested (pages 24 & 25) are free because they make money by suggesting offers and services. If you choose a paid option, It should be less than $100 a year. Software like Quicken should be less than $50 a year.
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Poll Results: “How do you remember your passwords?”
□ Old School: Pen-to-Paper – 38%
□ Newer Old School: Digital Documents – 31%
□ The “Wrongest” Way: In Your Head – 8%
□ The Solution: A Password Manager Software – 23%
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Link to the recording: https://youtu.be/YCwFCO4PYPM
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Key points from the discussion:
Your Pad: An Operating System (pages 30-46): This can not only help after you’re gone, but also if you’re away for a bit.
□ Going by sections can make this process easier, starting with the basement, main floor, upstairs, outside, storage units, and vehicles (if applicable).
□ Additionally, going through the matrix (pages 32-34) will add more key details such as electricity, phone, internet, furnishings/décor, security systems, hide-a-keys, smoke & carbon monoxide detectors, and fireplace.
Side Mission: Animal Instincts (pages 39-41): Despite feeling like members of our family, the law sees pets as property, therefore you need to make special arrangements for them.
□ Budget of recurring expenses, naming a guardian, providing other special instructions (feeding habits, medical history/conditions, favorite toys/activities, breed, birthday, microchip info)
Plan Of Attack (page 45): Doing The Walk-Around
□ Time: Three one-hour shifts of walking around every room in your house, the surrounding perimeter, taking photos with your phone and taking notes.
□ Two hours to transcribe these notes and photos into digital format for a worthy instruction manual/troubleshooting guide as well as gathering up related paperwork (warranty info, actual instruction manuals).
□ Cost: This should only take your time, unless you want to create an actual book.
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Link to the recording: https://youtu.be/nGtPFC1fX6o
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Key points from the discussion:
Making First Contact (pages 47-61): Getting contacts organized helps your family after you’re gone so they know who to contact to settle your estate, your network of trusted professionals you’ve built over a lifetime won’t go to waste, and personal contacts your family may not know about can be contacted with next of your passing and funeral information.
□ Going by sections can make this process easier, starting with your top contacts in the following areas: medical, home, financial, legal, work, and vehicles/boats.
□ Additionally, going through your personal VIPs (pages 59-60) will add more key contacts that may be needed such as friends, coworkers, neighbors, religious organizations, other organizations, charities/volunteer work.
Side Mission: Parental Guidance (pages 55-58): Being aware of their doctors, medical treatments, appointments, insurance information, and legal paperwork will help you be prepared to care for them if and when they need it.
Plan Of Attack (page 60): Organizing Contacts
□ Time: initial skim, sort, and pruning of existing contacts – 30 minutes.
□ Adding or updating the contacts suggested (including researching people and professionals you may not have seen in awhile) – 3 to 5 hours.
□ Get in the habit of including pertinent details (full name, title, email, short description) every time you add a new contact to the roster.
Break Time: Life’s Milestones and Pit Stops (pages 62-64): Your plan is now alive! It needs to be significantly updated only when your life changes…
□ Getting married, divorced, new additions to the family, if key people named in your estate planning documents pass, if you get sick, new laws or moving out of state, financial situation changes such as pay increases, large purchases, inheritances, business ventures.
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Link to the recording: https://youtu.be/x3FefoD_tL8
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Key points from the discussion:
Power Of Attorney (pages 66-69): POAs grant great powers over your affairs during your life. It authorizes someone else to pay your bills, manage banking/investments, manage real estate, oversee insurance, prepare and file taxes. The following are important reasons for you to have one designated:
□ Accidents, medical emergency, or mental incompetence
□ Still competent but need assistance with routine money management tasks
□ If you’re traveling or unavailable and need someone to sign on your behalf
Wills (pages 70-86): You can leave your assets and belongings to whoever you want. If you don’t, a judge will make the decisions for you. Be sure to keep a copy of your Will at home, with an attorney, or with your executor — not in a safe deposit box!
□ What you can include in your Will: actual property, cash, intangible personal property, unproductive property
□ What you can’t include: co-owned property, when there’s beneficiaries designated (insurance, retirement accounts, TOD accounts), digital assets
Plan Of Attack (pages 82-83): POA and Will
□ Decide who will be your POA | Time: 5 minutes to 3 hours
□ Decide what goes in your Will and who gets what | Time: 1 hour to 4 hours
□ Pick an executor and an alternate | Time: 5 minutes to 4 hours
□ Pick a guardian and an alternate | Time: 5 minutes to 5 days
□ Getting Your POA And Will (Online) — Time: less than an hour | Cost: $70 to $1,000 (or more if you include a Trust)
□ Getting Your POA And Will (Attorney) — Time: 5 days to find an Attorney | 2 hours to create documents | Cost: $300-$500 for basic documents, + $1,500 to $3,000 for a Trust
Trusts (pages 86-93): Trusts allow assets to be protected from taxes, lawsuits, and more. The following are some reasons why you may consider creating a Trust:
□ Avoid probate courts
□ Maintain control of assets in the event of incompetence
□ Put space between you and your assets
□ Pay life insurance premiums
□ Maintain control over assets after they’ve been passed to another
Plan Of Attack (page 92): Creating a Trust
□ Decisions: Do you need a Trust? What is the reason to create one? Who will the trustees and beneficiaries be? How much will be funding it? How much effort will go toward annual maintenance (opening bank accounts, filing taxes every year)? | Time: 2 to 5 hours
□ Creating A Trust (Online) Time: 1 hour | Cost: $250 to $1,000
□ Creating A Trust (Attorney) Time: 1 to 2 hours | Cost: $1,500 to $3,000
□ Online platforms offer decent and affordable legal documents for simple estates. Trusts can be complicated, which is why we advise meeting with a professional to ensure it’s done correctly.
Letters of Last Instructions (pages 93-95): This serves no legal function but is a thoughtful gesture. Can give insight on why you made the decisions you made and ways to go about handling final arrangements.
□ Plan of Attack | Time: ~ 1 hour (page 94) | This is a culmination of all your legal decisions and is something you should be thinking about in the back of your mind throughout the entire process. Create a rough draft with all the things you want to include. Return to the document a few times over the course of two weeks until you're satisfied that it gets your message across clearly and warmly.
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Link to the recording: https://youtu.be/FyyglSNq-4I
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Key points from the discussion:
Money You Owe (pages 96-115): When settling your estate, taxes and debts must be paid off before heirs get their share: (page 97)
□ Credit cards and other forms of payment need to be managed to avoid unnecessary expenses or possible fraud against your estate.
□ Any insurance payouts owed can be collected, since this money is often a financial lifeline.
□ Make sure to detail your credit card information, bills (home related, utilities, vehicle related, loans and big debts, subscriptions, memberships, gifts, taxes, tuition)
Plan Of Attack (page 106): Money You Owe
□ Time: Four hours to identify and list all the bills, loans, debts, taxes, other things that cost you money. Begin with a rough estimate on paper, then use a financial aggregation tool to be more accurate.
□ Cost:
Many financial aggregation apps are free, if you opt for a paid one, it should be less than $100 per year
For software or programs on the computer like Quicken, it should be around $50 a year or less
So. Much. Insurance. (pages 107-115):
□ Insurance you likely have: (page 107) Health, car/vehicle, home/property/renters
□ Insurance you may need: (pages 107-108) Life (term, whole life)
□ Insurance you should consider: (pages 108-109) Long term care, disability
□ Insurance you should know about: (pages 110-111) Liability (umbrella), critical illness, identity theft, funeral, catastrophe (earthquake/flood/hurricane), longevity, kidnap/ransom, tuition refund, travel
Plan Of Attack (page 115): Insurance
□ Standard/Required Insurance: Health, auto, property insurance details should be included among your bills and each should take no longer than 10-15 minutes to organize.
□ Time it takes to get Life/LTC Insurance: 1 to 3 months
Decide what type of insurance would best benefit your family, how much is needed, most appealing provider, how much you can afford.
Cost: varies based on age, health, and amount of coverage.
If you think you’ll be able to qualify for Medicaid, you might not need LTC.
□ Other Insurance to Research: Ask yourself whether any of the insurance types listed apply to you. If they don’t, move on. If any do, spend 15 minutes doing a search to see if it makes sense.
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Link to the recording: https://youtu.be/FWPSmTWMjVE
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Link to our webinar, The Power of Proactive Planning with Lisa Mayfield of Aging Wisdom: https://www.mirusplanning.com/newsletters/aging-wisdom-webinar
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Key points from the discussion:
Your Medical Checkup (pages 116-130): Unlike medical records, this is a casual and realistic way to keep others in your life apprised of your health. Include medical documents/records or online access login details if available (page 117).
□ Existing/current conditions, chronic problems, family medical history, HIPAA Authorization form
Plan Of Attack (page 119): Construct Your Personal Medical Journal
□ Time: 2 to 3 hours if you use the method and template provided (page 118) to document all your current ailments and general medical history. Add an extra 2 hours to complete a family history, since you may need to research this information. We suggest using a digital document to keep track of everything, but a handwritten journal works as well (just keep it up to date).
Advance Health Care Directives (pages 120-122): In the case of a medical emergency, things move fast, and regrettable decisions can be made. Document your wishes, or someone else will be forced to bear the burden.
□ Health Care Proxy: If you become incapacitated, you will need someone to act on your behalf. Health care proxies can make decisions about your medical care, pain management, view/release records, apply for benefits, and take legal action to ensure decisions are honored.
Living Wills (pages 116-130): Living Wills provide doctors with a guide to manage your care, and your health care proxy will use it to make sure what you want is getting done.
□ Primarily refers to life support treatments, specifically if you’re suffering from a terminal or progressive illness, or major accident where you’re unlikely to recover. A Living Will is only used if you are deemed incapacitated and mentally incompetent by at least one doctor. (page 123)
Plan Of Attack (page 130): Create Your Advance Directive
□ Time: Around a minute to download your state’s form (incasethebook.com/advance-directive-forms); an hour to understand the decisions you need to make if you’re already sure of what you want. And if you’re unsure and want to speak with a doctor, bring the form along to your next appointment.
□ Cost: Free if you do it yourself; a fee if you do it with an attorney as a part of an estate planning bundle.
Side Mission: When Life Gets Golden (pages 128-129): It’s never too early to think about how/where you want to live when you’re older. Know your options, and work on getting a financial plan in place. Important considerations include —
□ Health: Will you need doctors and nurses on staff to help with any medical problems or do you want easy access to medical professionals, just in case?
□ Finances: Do you have the means to live where you want, for as long as you want?
□ Location Of Family Members: Do you want to be near family and friends, or will they travel to you?
□ Degree Of Independence: Do you like doing things on your own, or would you like someone to pitch in and help with your daily routine?
□ 3 Types Of Elder Care Housing: In Home Care – live at home with some help, Assisted Living – living at a facility with some help, Nursing Home – high level of medical care.
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Link to the recording: https://youtu.be/-QK48_AdLfY
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Key points from the discussion:
Why You Need A Digital Estate Plan (page 131): In the same way you need to organize your physical possessions, if you don’t get a handle on your digital life, you’re leaving a huge mess for your family when you sign off from this world.
□ Ensure digital accounts and services can be deleted, managed, or transferred to someone else after you’re gone, especially if there are recurring payments set up for them.
The Big Five (pages 137-143): There are a ton of services associated with each of the following – Google, Facebook, Amazon, Apple, Microsoft.
□ Think about whether there’s digital assets such as books, music, movies, photos, etc. that you would like to have transferred, or if you just want the whole account to be deleted.
□ Explore each of the service’s options for assigning a legacy contact or trusted contact who can handle the account in the event of your passing. Otherwise, you will want to make sure your digital executor knows your passwords and 2 Factor Authentication information for all.
Plan Of Attack (page 143): Make a Digital Estate Plan
□ You can tear through this much more quickly once you organize all your passwords from Level 1. Recognize early in the process which accounts really matter and which simply need to be shut down or transferred.
□ If you’re keeping track of your accounts using a password manager, add your instructions in the notes field. If you opt for a digital or hard copy document, include the word instructions under the login info then add them.
□ Time: Limit yourself to 30 minutes for each account that really matters. The ones that don’t have much significance but still require instructions should take less than 5 minutes per account. For the ones that really don’t matter, keep it under 30 seconds (“delete” or “ignore” will suffice).
Physical Files: Backups, Hard Drives (pages 150-151): Gather up all the external drives into one box, including thumb drives. Go through them, one by one, and start sorting. Anything you want to keep should be moved into a folder on your desktop. Once you complete a drive, reformat it so there’s no going back.
□ If you don’t want to do the sorting and deleting, then let them go.
Plan Of Attack (page 151-152): Naming a Digital Executor
□ Designate someone to help manage and settle your digital estate. This person will make the instructions you leave behind a reality. Most Wills have this option, so you won’t have to do much extra work to get this done.
□ No extra time is needed if you include this as part of your Will and plan to use the same executor. If you want to keep the two separate, allocate around 2 hours to decide who should be tasked with managing your digital affairs, write up a cover page that explains your digital estate plan, and let the person know they’re the chosen one.
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Link to the recording: https://youtu.be/aG_lNz7QUHI
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Key points from the discussion:
Photo Finish (pages 165-171): How this helps after you’re gone (page 167)
□ Your family won’t need to sort through tens of thousands of photos to find the best ones, people will know who’s in the photos and when they were taken, favorite family recipes can still be enjoyed exactly as you remember them, heirlooms will end up in the right hands – not in donation bins or the trash.
□ Select only the best and most meaningful images. Create one organized and manageable photo archive on your main home computer. Every six months or so, copy all the new photos to an external hard drive and/or the cloud. (pages 168-169)
Physical and Antique Photos (pages 170-171): Start by sorting them into 3 piles.
□ Album-worthy: worth preserving, Box-worthy: worth keeping but not worth honoring in an album, Don’t care: can be shredded or discarded
□ After sorting, include some details on the back of each photo: names of people in the photo, date and location, any brief, relevant data you can remember.
Plan Of Attack (page 171): Physical Memories
□ Sorting and organizing printed photos | Time: Two hours to gather them all (albums, antique framed photos, packed boxes, those in folders from when they were developed). An hour to sort them into the piles we outlined earlier. The final step of identifying the photos should be broken into 4 one-hour shifts over the course of a month to avoid fatigue. This also includes photos hanging on your walls that might be a mystery to everyone but you.
□ Sorting and organizing digital photos | Time: One hour to list out every place you have digital photos (computers, mobile devices, external backups, cloud). Start consolidating them in one centralized collection, which should be done in 4 one-to-two-hour shifts over the course of a month. Back up the main collection on a hard drive and a cloud service.
□ Maintenance: At least once a year, spend two hours sorting the photos you’ve taken since your last backup, and add them to the main collection.
□ Cost: Depends on data. External drives - under $100. Thumb drives - $10 to $50.
Delicious History (pages 172-177): Basic recipe template - Name of recipe, list of ingredients, preparation/cooking instructions, additional instructions, and tips (optional: sprinkle in family stories and history related to the recipe).
□ If you use index cards or physical recipes, you can organize and transcribe them into a book, or just take photos and share them in a digital “family recipe” folder so others can access them.
Plan Of Attack (page 176): Recipes
□ Time: One-day limit to round up all your recipes into a centralized place. To keep it from becoming an encyclopedia, take 3 one-hour shifts and focus on personal recipes, family recipes, and family favorites until you have only the best of the best.
□ Digital: Using Word or Google Docs, plug away using the format suggested earlier until the pile is empty. Add new recipes at regular intervals or as they begin to stack up.
□ Physical: A bunch of online services allow you to self-publish your own family cookbook. This is a good option for a family heirloom cookbook, but not the best solution if you’re updating and sharing on a regular basis.
□ Cost: A physical book varies, depending on the service you choose, ranging from $30 all the way to the hundreds. You can do it on the cheap if you create your own, but it’ll take longer.
Personal Antiquing (pages 177-178): You already understand the type of valuable or meaningful assets that should go in your Will or be clearly assigned to an heir. There are others, perhaps less financially valuable but nevertheless meaningful, that could be overlooked or end up in the wrong hands if you don’t tell the story behind them.
□ Prominently place a note or include in your Letter of Last Instructions, saying, “there are personal notes attached to many items in the house. Be sure to check the back and bottom of each before you discard anything you might not want.”
□ There is no template, you can include the personal history of the item, a brief cute thought, doesn’t have to be much. It is best to include the name of the person who should get it to prevent disagreements.
Plan Of Attack (page 178): Heirlooms
□ Time: 3 one-hour shifts over the course of a month to make a list (or spreadsheet) of all he heirlooms you would want others to have. This list serves a dual purpose because it can be used by your family as an inventory and let them know who’s getting what. Once the list is final, grab some sticky notes or index cards/tape, and start tagging the back or underside of each thing with personal notes.
Warmest regards,
Chad Parmenter
CFP®, CLU, ChFC, CDFA®, RICP®, BFA™
